She left me because I was not adequate, our values transformed, I was not responsible enough, I never tried to understand her, our mistakes never justified each other’s errors, I always neglected the signs she passed via simple gestures.
I was miserable for quite a long time afterward. That was to be expected. But I also held her responsible for my misery. Which, take it from me, didn’t get me very far. It just made the misery worse.
I was unable to control her. No matter how many times I called her, or screamed at her, shouted at her, or begged her to take me back, or did other creepy and irrational typical-boyfriend things, I could never control her emotions or her actions. At last, while she was to blame for how I felt, she was never responsible for how I felt. I WAS.
Eventually, after enough tears, my deduction began to shift and I began to understand that although she had done something awful to me and she could be blamed for that, but it is now my own obligation to make myself happy again. She is never going to pop up and fix things for me. I need to and have to fix them for myself.
To blame others is only to hurt yourself.
Shuhab's Bloggue 