It’s hard to experience nephew’s death

Since last week

An internal alarm suddenly started waking me at 4am. And then it started filling my brain with random thoughts like, “what if he was alive, what if we could fight again, what if I can irritate him again, why couldn’t he call me chachu again, what if he needs my advices again, what if I could ask his view on my points.”

Last night when I get up middle of the night to get some water, when I arrived in the kitchen my bhabhi was already there, also drinking some water, she looked in my eyes surprisingly and asked “what happened?” I said in a serious sound “something meant to happen, bhabhi?” she said “I mean, why your eyes are ruby red?” I couldn’t speak a word just burst into tears and she hugged me and I cried like a child until fajr azaan.

Why you left me alone, you Idiot boy? Who is here to hear me like you? Who trust me like you used to, even when I was wrong? Please come back kashu, it’s hard to live a life I’m living right now. I want to see you taking Sheesha with me again, I want to beat you one more time in chess, I remember I used to say “ary Beemar aan dyaen tho hikri game” (you are sick that’s why I’m loosing to you).

Now who is here to help me out in materialistic problems? I’m crying, crying even louder. I still can’t believe you are gone far away from me from this word may be in heaven.

Rest in peace my dear rest in peace. I believe when I will see you again, you will be alright, out of medication, far from every tension of life. And we will talk about my rest of life on planet earth and your life after death.

Published by Shuhab abro

Fearless fighter

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