Dead inside, uncomfortable outside, but still hopeful – Poem #13 – (2021)

Uneasiness, anxiety, fatigue
Crawling up the walls

Rest of the nights depleting endlessly
Cigarettes are turning into my appetite

Eyes totally open, gazing at void walls
Listening same vocalless melody
Again and again

Expecting a cheerful closure,
Sometime soon

Structure underneath my clothes;
Like skeleton meandering around

Heart inside my chest,
Idk beating or not

Void inside,
yet confident for more promising times
Long periods of satisfaction; I deserve.

I’m even frightened of myself now
Imagine a scenario where I hurt myself unexpectedly

Imagine a scenario where this is my last objective
I’m so harmed,

I need somebody close by
Who can put head onto my chest

Furthermore,
Reveal to me my heart doing incredible

Who can tell me;
Regardless
They are here to compromise and care.

Who can truly
Externalize their meaning of care

Who can quit accusing me
Again and again

Who can truly show
Some regard to our bond

However,
I’m in a scenario where
This is my destiny now

No one here is truly free
Of their own disorder
For sure!

No one is prepared for a danger to take
I can expect and accept.

Presently this is my life
A conventional one,
Ordinary like every other
Nothing intentionally changed.

How about,
We simply change this world a little
With our own endeavors

We should simply
Not let the affection bite the dust
As a result of undeserving fews,

We should keep it alive,
Through and through!

We should simle a little everyday,
Or atleast try
Nature accepts grin
Is first principle of love.

© Shuhab Abro

Misspelled story – poem #12 – (2021)

Amazing days are but illusions, and
Back-breaking nights vain conclusions

Circumstances become a cul de sac
The pride will betray and throw back
The scars are but a misspelled story
Converted into reconstruction glory.

UnWanted Conversations – Poem #11 – (2021)

Learn to write safe words, my love.
You never know,
Who is going through what!
Never utter coward language
It shatters into millions someone’s heart.
When written or spoken
Over and over again
Someone collapse
Until he cannot escape from himself
Then misery is enough to cover horizons
Tears are enough to water the deserts
Death is enough to be at peace.

© Shuhab Abro

Fluffy Hand (a sweet dream)

That fluffy hand in mine (I’m holding it so tightly; like it belongs to me), running inside her house, when it started raining outside in the park; where we were talking about our lives and [Us]. When we reached inside her house, I found extremely strange things; may be, you can say it’s annoying stuff. My mother was there, one of my brother’s wife was there as well. And her mother refused to recognize me when she saw us holding each other’s hand. Who are you? She asked, looking straight into my eyes, but with a warm smile on her lips. Before I could answer, I felt loosing control of fluffy hand, devastating for me! She smiled back at her mother and said, “how can you not recognize him? mom, you were the one who told me about him in the very first place.” And then (Boom) my mother came from behind and introduced me as her son.
And then I don’t remember what happened next. But the warmth of her fluffy hand is still on my skin.

All The Bright Places – (Book Review)

I read this book because my girlfriend compelled me to, and it was in my bookshelf since last 3 years and I had no intention to read it any soon.

I’m not a fan of contemporary romance books, but I enjoyed this one, despite knowing the ending (Thanks to Nayab Iqtedar). I felt All the Bright Places was kind of realistic, it deals with so many issues like mental health, suicide and labels without sugar coating them.

The story is told from two point of views: Finch’s and Violet’s – two teenagers who need help to survive in this world.

Finch is constantly thinking of ways to kill himself. Violet is counting the days until she graduates and can leave Indiana behind. They know of each other but meet while both are standing on top of a bell tower contemplating to jump. As the novel progresses, you keep searching for signs of hope along the way. Finch gravitates towards Violet. He has an uncanny resolve to keep Violet steady and on track. What transpires is an unlikely pairing under very, very serious circumstances. Finch battles those demons from within day after day for Violet until he no longer has that tiny flicker of light.

Jennifer Niven did an amazing job showcasing all of this and I felt so deeply connected to the characters and their struggles.

This book isn’t for everyone. Trigger warnings for suicide, it is the type of story that ride you into action.